We were going to write something enthusiastic about Aubrey but she asked us not to. She finds enthusiasm… exhausting. This kitten already has the expression of someone who has worked in municipal government for 30 years and is absolutely not staying late because you forgot your paperwork. She doesn’t beg for attention. She doesn’t perform….
Meet Sebastian Maniscalco. A kitten who somehow already carries the disappointment of 400 Italian grandmothers. Look at his face. That’s not a kitten. That’s a man who just watched you show up to Sunday dinner empty handed. “You came with NOTHING?” Sebastian has standards. You don’t wear your hat at the table. You don’t say…
George Carlin believes society has far too many rules. Rules about counters. Rules about closed doors. Rules about whether he’s “allowed” on your pillow. WHO DECIDED THIS? Certainly not George. So, in honor of his namesake… THE FOUR DIRTY WORDS YOU CAN’T SAY TO A CAT: VET. George has already vanished. CARRIER. Nice try. That’s…
Jeff Foxworthy has been studying a map of Rhode Island and has one question: WHO WAS IN CHARGE OF NAMING THESE ROADS? Because we’re pretty sure the meeting went something like: “Eh… just put something on the sign.” Which brings us to Rhode Island’s version of “Here’s Your Sign.” Breakneck Hill Road. Sounds less like…
Bill Burr is a 12 week old kitten looking for a home that can tolerate strong opinions about traffic, municipal geography, and waiting 40 minutes for ice cream. He has been in Tiverton for approximately twelve minutes and already has several concerns. First: WHY IS EVERYBODY DOIN’ 37 MILES AN HOUR?! There is nobody in…
Amy has the energy of the friend who creates a color coded spreadsheet for a group vacation before anyone has actually agreed to go. She is enthusiastic. She is ambitious. She believes in community involvement. She has already formed six committees, scheduled a town meeting and submitted a formal proposal titled: STRATEGIC INITIATIVE FOR THE…
Moms may technically be kitten. But spiritually? She is 82, has seen EVERYTHING, and is deeply disappointed by the quality of men currently available. LOOK AT HER. That face does not say, “I’m just a baby.” That face says: “Baby, I was tired before you got here.” Moms has the energy of a woman who…
Fable is sweet, chill, and mysterious. She is dressed like she has inherited a Victorian mansion under deeply suspicious circumstances. Fable is available for adoption separately from her brother, Aesop, because she is an independent woman with her own career goals, and apparently those goals include appearing behind you without making a sound and watching…
