Jamie Tartt already knows he’s the best looking player on the pitch. He will likely grow into a medium sized adult, but, he has declined to commit to anything that might limit his options. Either way, the confidence is already fully grown. Jamie has never met a mirror he didn’t appreciate or a room he…
Rebecca looks like she arrived fully prepared to take over AFC Richmond. Owner. Boss. Icon. This stunning girl has the kind of presence that makes everyone else sit up a little straighter. Those ears? Executive level. That posture? CEO. That face? She has absolutely requested the quarterly adoption report. Rebecca does not actually need to…
Ted Lasso has the kind of eyes that make you feel like you should probably tell him everything. Your childhood. Your relationship problems. That thing you said in 2017 that still keeps you awake sometimes. Ted will listen. And judging by his face, he has already forgiven you. There is something incredibly endearing about this…
Vivian arrived wearing pearls (emotionally), a black headband (literally), and the expression of someone whose family has been summering on Rumstick Point for generations. Her first question? “Do you validate parking?” Vivian is young but she has already made several requests: – A town beach sticker – A yacht club membership – A monogrammed life…
Penelope’s journey started when she was found abandoned outside a gym in Puerto Rico. She decided that chapter was absolutely not going to define her story, so she packed her tiny imaginary suitcase and headed to North Carolina. When her family wasn’t there, she collected a few more frequent flyer miles and made one final…
EXHIBIT C: WARNER HUNTINGTON III Warner Huntington III has arrived wearing boat shoes without socks and asking why the transport van did not drop him off on Bellevue Avenue. Warner is one of FIFTEEN puppies, although his family prefers the term: “A private regatta.” He claims he was born at the Summer cottage. The summer…
Meet Paulette Bonafonte. She has mastered the bend & snap. Unfortunately, nobody taught her the correct choreography. Her version goes: BEND: Put the front half of your body underneath the couch. SNAP: Close your tiny jaws around something that absolutely does not belong to you. RUN: Gallop sideways into a wall while fourteen siblings provide…
EXHIBIT A: ELLE WOODS Elle Woods has entered the courtroom wearing pink, carrying no identification and refusing to disclose her breed without an attorney present. She is approximately one of FIFTEEN puppies and is an extremely mixed breed. How mixed? The DNA laboratory received her sample, turned off the lights and quietly left the building. We…
