Perro Salado has a new general manager. He’s devastatingly handsome, weighs 45 pounds, and cannot fit through the dining room without rearranging the furniture.

NEWPORT: WE NEED TO TALK ABOUT THE MARGARITAS. If you’ve ever been to Perro Salado on Charles Street, you KNOW. The food is incredible and the pitchers of margaritas are delicious. It’s like someone turned an entire house into a Mexican restaurant and said, “GOOD LUCK FINDING YOUR FRIENDS.”

Naturally, we named a puppy after it. THIS WAS OUR FIRST MISTAKE.

Meet Perro Salado. He is 45lbs. FORTY FIVE POUNDS. He’s the biggest of our Redbone Coonhound puppies. For perspective, his sister Flo weighs 41 pounds and is currently under federal investigation for attempting to acquire the entire New England seafood industry. And this man is bigger than Flo.

We’ve placed him in charge of a restaurant famous for its intimate dining rooms. Unfortunately, he requires an open floor plan. Possibly a loading dock.

He’s also expressed interest in the margarita pitchers. Not the margaritas, obviously. He simply believes all drinking water should arrive in decorative vessels with tiny umbrellas.

He’s requested a company expense account. Denied. A reserved parking space. Denied. A king sized orthopedic dog bed. Under review. He has threatened to contact human resources. But underneath these outrageous demands is one gorgeous, growing puppy who deserves a wonderful future.

Perro will need a family prepared for raising a large hound, including training, patience, exercise, adventures, and surrendering approximately 80% of their couch. Please don’t be fooled by the word “puppy”. This child is 45lbs. We’ve seen smaller dining room tables. We’re looking for someone ready for puppy training, a rapidly growing Hound, and the possibility that their living room may suddenly feel considerably smaller. Bonus points for an open floor plan.