NAPOLEON BONAPARTE HAS SUFFERED A DEVASTATING MILITARY DEFEAT. Not at Waterloo. AT THE HANDS OF OUR COSTUME DEPARTMENT.
Napoleon arrived expecting to command an army, conquer territories, and establish himself as one of history’s greatest military leaders.
WE DRESSED HIM AS A LOBSTER FOR HALLOWEEN (we promised we would not continue to share the evidence).
The emperor is furious.
He has demanded an immediate explanation, the surrender of whoever authorized this outfit, and a formal apology from the entire staff.
His plans for world domination have been temporarily suspended while he reviews his contract with a very small attorney.
We’ve suggested he embrace his new career as a Rhode Island seafood celebrity.
Behind this tiny emperor’s enormous ambitions is an adorable dog who deserves a kingdom of his own. HE CAME TO CONQUER THE WORLD. WE’D SETTLE FOR SOMEONE LETTING HIM RULE THEIR LIVING ROOM.