This is Megara. Please enjoy the final few moments in which you believe you have self control. Megara is the only girl in a litter with Hercules, Philoctetes and Pegasus. And Meg has figured something out.

She does not need to pursue you. She does not need an elaborate sales pitch. All Meg has to do is sit there looking like THAT. The rest of the damage is entirely self inflicted.

“Oh, she’s cute.” Correct.

“I wonder what her personality is like.” There it is.

“I’m just going to read her bio.”

Welcome. We’ve been expecting you. Meg has the kind of face that turns casual scrolling into an increasingly specific discussion about whether your household is ready for a puppy.

She has done nothing. This is all you.

We should probably disclose that her genetics are considerably less persuasive. Meg and her brothers appear to have been assembled from a canine parts bin during a power outage. Some have longer bodies and shorter legs. Others look suspiciously Whippet-ish. None have provided documentation. We’re estimating Meg may be around 25–30 pounds fully grown, but has declined to guarantee final dimensions.

What we CAN tell you is that this little girl is ridiculously fun to watch. The entire litter can RUN, and Meg flies around with the kind of speed and grace that seems completely unreasonable given how many questions we still have about the equipment.

But underneath the mythology, questionable engineering and face currently interfering with your judgment, Meg is still a baby. She needs patient puppy training, love, consistency and a family excited to help her grow into whatever mysterious little creature she is becoming.

Disney’s Meg insisted she wasn’t in love. You’re welcome to maintain the same position. The application link will still be here when you’re done lying to yourself.