Meet Cherry. She appears to have been assembled entirely from whipped cream and eyelashes. We have reviewed her photograph extensively.we can’t prove it, but something isn’t right. 

Her eyes are too blue. Her face is too perfect. Her ears are picking up radio transmissions from Connecticut. And despite being the size of a decorative throw pillow, she has the confidence of a woman who owns three vacation properties. She disagrees. Apparently, she’s an heiress.

Cherry has requested imported blankets, a personal photographer, and a beachfront estate. We explained that she’s living at an animal shelter. SHE HAS REQUESTED TO SPEAK TO CORPORATE.

Beneath all this completely unnecessary luxury lifestyle drama is one gorgeous little girl waiting for her forever family.