MAE GREEN WOULD LIKE TO FILE A FORMAL COMPLAINT AGAINST MEN. Specifically, three of them. Her brothers.
Mae Green has somehow survived being raised alongside three annoying brothers without completely losing her mind. Frankly, we think she deserves hazard pay.
Much like her namesake, Mae has spent an unreasonable amount of time surrounded by men creating unnecessary problems while she stands nearby wondering how, exactly, this became her responsibility.
The boys are wrestling?
Mae: Absolutely not.
Someone is being dramatic?
Mae: Embarrassing.
One of her brothers has made yet another questionable life choice?
Mae: I warned you.
Is she mean about it? No.
Does she have standards? Yes.
Mae is actually an absolute sweetheart. She seems to get along with pretty much everyone, loves attention, enjoys other dogs, and is a fun, social little lady.
She just also possesses the energy of a woman who has been running the pub, balancing the books, breaking up fights, and listening to the same three men explain their terrible ideas for the last six years.
She has seen things. She is tired. And she will not be taking questions at this time.
Her brothers can body slam each other into the furniture. Mae will be three feet away looking directly into the imaginary camera.
Her brothers can run around like they have never once experienced consequences. Mae has.
Her brothers may have chaos. Mae has boundaries.
She is still young and playful, but there is an old soul somewhere inside this dog quietly muttering, “For the love of God.”
We think Mae could absolutely live with another dog.
She likes dogs. She enjoys dogs. She is happy to participate. But if that dog is an idiot? That is between them and Mae. We assume she’ll handle it internally.
Mae is about 40 pounds of sweetness, sarcasm, patience, and one final nerve that her brothers have been tap dancing on since birth.
And honestly? She deserves a home where she can finally relax.
Maybe a couch. Maybe snacks. Maybe someone who understands that when Mae gives you the look, the meeting is over.
Please adopt this poor woman before her brothers start another podcast.