Meet Paulette Bonafonte. She has mastered the bend & snap. Unfortunately, nobody taught her the correct choreography.
Her version goes:
BEND: Put the front half of your body underneath the couch.
SNAP: Close your tiny jaws around something that absolutely does not belong to you.
RUN: Gallop sideways into a wall while fourteen siblings provide emotional support.
Works every time.
Paulette is an extremely mixed breed and one of FIFTEEN puppies, so she has never experienced privacy, personal space or eating at a reasonable pace.
She has, however, developed the confidence of a woman who just realized the UPS man has been making prolonged eye contact.
THE PACKAGE IS FOR PAULETTE.
EVERY PACKAGE IS FOR PAULETTE.
Her mother was a beautiful medium size. Her father remains unidentified and is now wanted in connection with fifteen counts of unpaid puppy support.
DNA testing may eventually reveal Paulettes ancestry, but our current estimate is:
20% salon gossip
16% unidentified terrier-ish situation
29% stealing your scrunchie
35% OH MY GOD, THE UPS GUY!
12% math fraud
Paulette is looking for a home that will provide love, training, patience and a large mirror in which to perfect her technique. She is up to date on vaccinations and is hoping her people come soon.