Janice Van Meter is a gorgeous, very fluffy black and white kitten with the refined appearance of a tiny Southern socialite and the unmistakable expression of someone who has just overheard something extremely important. She doesn’t START the gossip, she simply receives information, evaluates its credibility, adds one tasteful detail for context (or to stir up a little drama if she’s really bored), and redistributes it through the proper channels.

Janice is elegant, dramatic, and fully committed to being included in all household discussions. She would like a comfortable seat near the action, regular compliments about her magnificent fur, and unrestricted access to whatever everyone else is doing. She is looking for a family that understands privacy is more of a suggestion than a rule and that closed doors are deeply suspicious. Adopt Janice Van Meter, and you will gain a beautiful, fluffy companion who will quietly observe your every decision, and somehow know about it before you make it. Apply before Janice tells one person at the beauty shop and, by sundown, three counties hear that nobody has adopted her because your family is “going through something.”